Toronto,ON- Don’t we all just love mascots? Sometimes they’re cute and cuddly, sometimes they are strong and fierce, sometimes they are just downright weird. The OUA has 20 official teams, but only 19 official mascots because Trent Excalibur are against having fun apparently. Today I am going to take one sentence to give my best review/roast of each mascot.

This is all in good fun I promise!

Algoma Thunderbirds

Boomer

Boomer looks less like a sports team mascot and more like something you find in Microsoft ClipArt.

Brock Badgers

Boomer

Boomer 2.0 is actually a pretty good mascot that works for the cuddle angle because it is not possible to make a badger look scary.

Carleton Ravens

Rodney the Raven

One might pause to wonder why Rodney the Raven has a never ending smirk on his face but then you remember that Carleton has won 15 Men’s National Basketball titles since 2001 and then it makes sense.

Guelph Gryphons

Gryph the Gryphon

Very, very pointy ears aside, I like Gryph, he’s a mascot where you took something scary but made it cute.

Lakehead Thunderwolves

Wolfie

Wolfie has a smile that is a cross between Wile E. Coyote and the Grinch but before his heart grew three sizes.

Laurentian Voyageurs

Victor the Voyageur

I would attempt to roast Victor but it looks like Laurentian may be doing away with him and that’s just a good thing to see.
https://www.sudbury.com/local-news/race-and-culture-issues-prompt-lu-to-put-victor-the-voyageur-mascot-on-ice-2078503

McMaster Marauders

Mac the Marauder

This photo was taken moments before Mac the Marauder unfortunately ate these students.

Nipissing Lakers

Louie the Laker

Louie the Laker looks like he was taken off an ad for Fisherman’s Friends cough drops so there’s that.

Ontario Tech Ridgebacks

Hunter

Another example of going for the cuddly mascot rather than trying to look intimidating and Hunter the Ridgeback looks like a very good boy.

Ottawa Gee Gees

The Gee Gee

When it has its angry eyebrows on The Gee Gee looks ready to pump a crowd, without them it has the smile (and the eyes) of a 10 year old kid on a sugar high.

Queen’s Gaels

Boo Hoo the Bear

Perhaps the ultimate OUA cuddly mascot, I wanted to make fun of Boo Hoo but the more I look at him, he’s just so adorably dapper in his bow tie and hat I just can’t do it.

RMC Paladins

RMC Paladin knight in scarlet uniform and shield

The RMC mascot (I’m not writing that full title) looks sort of as if someone knew they needed to get a knight costume went to a Spirit Halloween and bought their best proximity of what it would look like.

Ryerson Rams

Eggy the Ram

Eggy is the the epitome of a mascot that you could give a B grade, cuddly but not too much, tough looking but not very, Eggy is the True Neutral of OUA mascots.

Toronto Varsity Blues

True Blue

I know True Blue is a beaver but for the life of me whenever I see this mascot I think it’s a squirrel, and considering the location of U of T that actually wouldn’t be a terrible choice for a mascot.

Waterloo Warriors

King Warrior

Maybe it’s the glasses making me say this, but King Warrior almost looks like the mascot equivalent of the “How do you do fellow kids?” meme.

Western Mustangs

J.W The Mustang

The purple and white horse head? Great! The weird onesie that makes up his body? Ehhh not so much.

Wilfred Laurier Golden Hawks

The Golden Hawk

Those of you who read my OUA hockey jersey review back in April would remember I am not the biggest fan of aggressive uses of yellow (Yes I know it’s their name) but man, the Golden Hawk just feels like they need to be toned down a bit.

Windsor Lancers

Winston the Lancer

The best way I could describe Winston the Lancer would be like this

York Lions

Yeo the Lion

This mascot looks just way too uncomfortably similar to Ontario Premier Doug Ford and I don’t know why.

So those are my one sentence reviews of each of the OUA mascots. Let me know in the comments below what I got right, what I got wrong, and which other U Sports mascots resemble Canadian Politicians.